Teaching and Training

So often I find myself trying desperately to capture my thoughts when I dwell in the place of regret. I guess many parents could readily identify with "wishing I could do it all over again" when they look in the rear view mirror of the years they have spent teaching and training their children. I have struggled my whole born-again life (roughly 7 years) with fear and anxiety over "blowing it". Somehow being convinced that I can make a cosmic mistake that unravels God's perfect plan for my life. It kept me from marriage for a long time, and it's kept me in a place of grave uncertainty as a mother. But lately, I have been deeply encouraged by the following truths:

1) Teaching is about living a lifestyle: Deuteronomy 6:5-9 "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

2) Teaching happens in relationship: Titus 2:3-5 "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

3) Teaching is time-sensitive: Proverbs 19:18a "Discipline your son while there is still hope..."

4) Teaching is unique for every child: Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should, even when he is old he will not depart from it."

5) Plans can and should be made, but the result is up to the Lord:

*Proverbs 16:3, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

*Proverbs 16:9, "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

*Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

So what do I learn from these truths? First and foremost, I have learned the value of seeking the Lord with everything I have and then "all these things shall be added" (Matthew 6:33). Lifestyle and relationship display that value. They say values are caught not taught when it comes to our children. Lifestyle matters! The life I live before my children - the authentic and genuine reality, not the front I may try to portray - teach them about everything: God, people, morality, ...everything! And the relationship I have with them in the context of the lifestyle I lead is crucial to driving those things home. If I live a lifestyle of help and hospitality to others, but never spend quality time investing in the lives of my own children...what a crushing hypocrisy for my children to bear.

Secondly, I have to have a uniquely designed plan that I execute daily for each child the Lord has given me. Right now, I only have one son. However, if I want each child to flourish, I must study each of them. Currently, I study Jonathan and how the Lord created him. I ask the Lord how I can help build him up and how the Lord is revealing this unique person in all the splendor of his creation. I beg for wisdom and study His word to know how I can equip my son to live the best possible life. It is a huge responsibility, but the Lord saw fit to give that to me. If HE has perfect confidence in using me to do the job, why do I not see that as good enough? In the end, the Lord's purposes will be carried out. He knows each day ordained for each person, including my son and any other children we might have in the future. The Lord knows His plan for all of His creation and if I trust Him, then I can rest assured that doing my best is all that He asks.

Parenting is tough. We can grow so very weary in diligently carrying on each and every day, investing in our children. But this is a heritage that lasts for eternity. What kind of legacy do we want to leave? What kind of returns do we want to see from this investment? He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly. And there is no doubt we are lacking as parents (we all fall short), but God shall supply all our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus! You can do it and so can I! So may today be a day of prosperous parenting, where teaching and training are a joy, not because it's easy, but because it's worth it!