Isn't it just like my God...

to be so personal!

Shea and I have been on a journey of Exodus. When we got married, we both knew we were in Egypt...a land of extreme debt: $120K. The borrower is slave to the lender (Pr 22:7) and Shea and I had given our allegiance to numerous lenders. Conviction prior to marriage had us both on a track to get out of debt, but we still walked the isle to the alter carrying a lot of that Egyptian luggage!

So now, a year later, we are in what I liken to the Israelites 40 year desert journey. Prayerfully, we will not be in the desert for 40 years, but we are in a time of learning to trust fully on the Lord and not on what is seen and what we ourselves can accomplish. In the past couple of months, I have faced some hard decisions that revealed where my faith really laid. I realized that because I had not cut up my credit cards, I would rather easily use them for a little something here and a little something there. For almost 6 months, we made so little headway on our debt reduction because we were constantly paying off the same credit cards. So finally, after much conviction, I fully faced the fact that my trust was in money and my security was in having those credit cards available to me. I was still acting as a slave even though Christ had set me free. I had to decide whether I was serving Christ or my credit cards.

I cut them up.

I never thought it would be so painful or difficult to get rid of something I intellectually detested. But when my heart's darkness had been revealed, cutting my chains was the only option that moved me toward Christ. And now, I am finding myself roaming the desert and having to trust the Lord for every little thing. I am learning contentment and real faith like never before. WHY, OH WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG TO CUT THOSE CARDS UP? :D

Last week came another step of faith. After hearing the testimony of another couple which was so like our own journey, God spoke to me about Malachi 3:10, "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse so that there may be food in my house, and test Me now in this," says the Lord Almighty, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows." Sure we had been giving regularly, but not faithfully. Faithfully giving meant true obedience to what the tithe really meant. The tithe was 10% OFF THE TOP. We stopped short by only taking 10% of what we had in cash...after taxes and other deductions. It was time to step up to true faithfulness with our stewardship. It was time to REALLY tithe.

This weekend we brought the WHOLE tithe to the storehouse even though it meant only $8.80 left for food or whatever for the rest of the week. We had food in the house, so even a gallon or two of milk and some inexpensive bread could be covered by the $8.80. I could save gas by walking to work (it's only around the corner). So all in all, it was fine. But my heart was so anxious. I kept reminding myself that I trusted not in my bank account but in the Lord and all was fine. He was in control. We were abundantly blessed and I didn't need to worry. (Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord - Phil 4:8) I felt my faith being burned in the fire as I laid our tithe in the offering plate, and I felt the burn continue.

Such a small thing in some sense, but such a big thing in another sense. But isn't it just like my God to be so personal to come to me in such a time when I am struggling with anxiety and trust and be my comforter, my provider, my All! He showed up in my mailbox yesterday. We recieved a very random check in the mail for $100. I could hardly believe my eyes, but knew at once it was the Lord wrapping His arms around me and saying, "I am worthy to be trusted and I want to ease your troubled heart." I knew the power of Psalm 91, "He who rests in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

I didn't need the $100, but I needed my Lord and He spoke to my heart through those circumstances. It may not always be like that (receiving random checks or infusions of money) as we travel this desert road to the promise land (debt freedom), but it will always be like the Lord to show me His faithfulness. It will always be like the Lord to be our provider and comforter. It will always be like the Lord to wrap His arms around me as Abba Father! For that my love deepens for my Savior and Lord. I fall in love with Him all over again. He is so ... precious to me.

Lord, I ask with all my heart that you continue to lead me by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. Please help me not to get prideful or forget, as your other children did and I have done in the past, the miracles you have done to reveal your faithfulness. You are worthy to follow and obey, Lord. I am weak and cannot do this on my own. I am so grateful that in my weakness your strength is made perfect. It is strange that I love so much to be in this place of weakness, but there is no place I'd rather be than your arms and in your will. Continue to discipline us, Lord. Continue to help us learn contentment and sacrifice. Continue to help us give lavishly and may the giving be blessed and multiplied by your hand so that the kingdom is increased! Let our lives be a light for who you are and how great and precious it is to follow you at any cost.

Encore: So not only did we have the $100 check yesterday, but today I discovered a bank error in our favor to the tune of almost $200 more. I marvel at this error, because usually 2-3 times each week, I make sure our account is balanced to the penny. I had not done that in almost a week and a half and when I did so today, I discovered a deposit that was made but not recorded in the ledger. Had that deposit been recorded, I doubt I would have counted yesterday's moment with the Lord as precious as it was. Thank you Lord for folding in even more blessings! You are so amazing!!