Depression is something I've dealt with over my lifetime on numerous occasions. In the past few years, it has been rare that my depression last as long as this last stint has. I was very discouraged that I couldn't seem to "shake it". But alas, the light shines! I have felt free to breathe again for an entire week. I think until today, I was nervous to hope that it was finally gone, but I had to stop with the fear and just embrace that the Lord had lifted the rain cloud on my parade! :)
I see the effects of the lift everywhere...work, the smile on my face, the joy in my heart, the eagerness to be around those I love and appreciate, and even my house is starting to once again reflect the orderliness of my heart and soul! My journal is several pages longer and my heart, having been poured out, in return, is being filled with so much. The Lord has shown me (once again) of His faithfulness. He amazes me and humbles me with his faithfulness. Even when I have veered away from Him, stomped my feet in tantrums, or apathetically drifted into worldliness, He stays my constant companion. No, in those times, I do not feel his presence, but He's there somehow. He's wooing me and prying into my heart, digging up the truth planted there...truth that sets me free once again from the sin that I have put back on. He whispers, persistently and patiently, that no matter how far I've gone, repentance is the open road of return. It's not closed and I need only turn to come back.
Oh how I love the Lord...and it's such a vibrant reality to me that I love Him because He first loved me!
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