I find myself a little irritated about something I have discovered about myself. In general, I love how the Lord has created in me an "encourager" nature. I see Him working all around me so often in the lives of my friends and complete strangers to encourage and exhort people in Him and His word. But do you think that happens as easily when it comes to my dear husband?
OH NO! The world would stop somehow if I could actually encourage my husband with the same intensity and sincerity that I encouarge neighbors, friends, and strangers. It's ridiculous!
But alas, here in this quandary, I find a treasure. I could no sooner truly encourage anyone, including my husband, if it were not for the work of the Lord in me.
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. - Phil 2:13
It is most assuredly the Lord who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose. And the key to that continuing to happen is simple...reverent obedience.
Even when it is difficult, and I feel like "I can't", at those times, if I will just choose to obey, the Lord's grace comes sweeping in to fulfill His work. That's hard when I'm tired, irratible, and PMSing...that is the last moment in which I want to be empathetic toward my husband who is dealing with and talking about his terrible day. I want to fix it, tell him what he's doing wrong, or tell him to stop complaining...none of which is loving or remotely appropriate. But when I bite my tongue and let my husband know that I can empathize with a bad day, that I love him and support him no matter what...God's grace comes swooping in.
I see my husband's face relax. I see a smile appear. And most surprisingly, I feel a deeper sense of intimacy with a man who I otherwise would have held at arm's length. There is blessing in obedience!!
I'm learning that just because I can do something in one venue, doesn't mean that I can do it in ANY venue. The Lord is still shaping my heart and picking out that selfishness and tidbits of unkindness. Of course, pride is still such a monster in my life...more than I ever thought in the early years of being a Christian. And all of that worldliness in me keeps me from being able to encourage my husband the same way I encourage others.
Hopefully it's true that "knowing is half the battle". The other half? - obedience! :)
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