Now that I've recognized my "suicidal" state (not the one where I am so distraught I want to end my life, but the one where I've been so lazy my life will end by the laws of physics), I have gotten on the path toward taking better care of this "temple" of mine. As it always has been, my biggest challenge is an addiction to food. I compulsively overeat and when you do that and don't exercise you end up where I did...at 236lbs and a hair shy of morbid obesity. But thankfully God's mercy has shaken things up a bit.
The truth is - I don't want to die (at least not by my own foolishness). However long my life on earth is to be, I don't want to be the one that cut it short. My life matters! I want to invest in my family and my community and do the things that I know the Lord has for me to do. But as it always seems to be with me, I take the wrong road for so long, I have a mess that needs to be cleaned up. That leaves me once again and forever indebted to the Lord for His grace. But faith without works is no faith at all. I can believe in God's forgiveness for my selfishness, laziness, idolatry, idleness, and gluttony till I'm blue in the face. My overall physical health does not benefit from a mere intellectual decision that I've been wrong and living in sin. But actual behavior changes are required.
I don't like denying myself - giving up food I have been habitually consuming for years. I don't like saying no to unhealthy foods. I like pizza, cheeseburgers, french fries and fried chicken. I like brownies, pies, ice cream and whatever else I've been eating! But I also like salads and steamed broccoli and other vegetables. I like skim milk, grilled chicken, fish, rice and whole grains. I like yogurt and sugar free pudding. I like frozen fruit bars. So making the healthier, lower calorie, lower in bad fats kind of food choices isn't all that bad! I think I just get stuck in that "I hate change" rut.
As far as the exercise front - I have always enjoyed working out. I feel great afterwards. The problem comes when I don't make time for it. This past week, I only went to the gym once, but made efforts to park farther away from my destination, take the dogs for walks, and one morning I did an intense session of walking and running the stairs at the local library. It's just about getting moving! I need to burn more calories than I consume...so movement is a must!
So for my first week of effort....what did it yield? I'm happy to report that I lost 5 pounds! So now I'm down to 231lbs. I'm 5 lbs closer to my ultimate goal of 130 lbs. One drop in the bucket closer to a healthier me!
I hope you all are off to great starts! Let's keep it up - perseverance is the key!
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