A Weekend to Remember

My husband and I just returned from a Weekend to Remember conference! It was an incredible experience, so I just thought I would share some of the wonderful things I learned!

The first session was on why marriages fail. I knew some of the reasons in a general sense, but it was eye opening when the speakers talked specifics about a particular topic. One thing that Shea and I didn't realize affected us so much was family history and painful experiences. He and I had such different families and I also carry scars from being sexually abused as a child. Despite the years of counseling, aspects of our family history and my painful childhood experiences are bringing forth new challenges. Being aware of it and being given tools to work through this has been an incredible blessing to our marriage!

One hugely eye-opening challenge to today's marriage is the world's pattern for relationships. This was something we knew, but really, I think we only saw the tip of the iceberg so to speak. There were some significant things this conference identified that we didn't realize we were following. We thought we knew what to watch for in the world's pattern, but even so, there were ways in which Shea and I were following a worldly pattern instead of applying God's truth.

Communication, conflict, sex, children, family model and roles were just some of the highlights we covered during the conference. I took away some pretty simple, but life-changing tools. One thing I set in my heart to do from now on, was see Shea as if he had "From God" stamped on his forehead. I have viewed Shea as if I chose him, but truly, the Lord chose Shea for me, wrapped him up in this particular packaging and sent him to me. The challenge is now receiving Shea as God's perfect gift to me! I am amazed! (Small, simple...but like I said...life-changing.)

Another thing I walked away with was the objective of seeing what God has made in both Shea and our children and being used to bring out that devine image. As the Michelangelo lived with a slab of marble for a month, he worked to see the devine image stamped in that marble...then diligently, patiently, and lovingly brought out the image of David. In just that way, I need to see every unsightly vein, every crack, every unusual pattern as part of the devine design imprinted in my family member. The Lord can use me to bring out that breaktaking image He has put there!

Then there was the area of submission. While I was blessed to see that the Lord had already instilled in me His view of biblical submission, I was humbled to see so many areas in which I had not been practicing it. Decisions are something I saw that I made independently still, even to the point of resenting it if I was called out for having made the decision independent of any thought or consideration given to my husband. It is encouraging to know that now I see the error of my ways, I also see how wonderful it will be to do things according to the scriptures. I see how submission will free my husband up to be the leader God has called him to be. I see how submission to my husband is parallel and necessary for submission to God himself. All in all, I am excited about what more whole-hearted submission will do, not only for my marriage, but also for my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ!

If you're married, no matter how good or not-so-good your marriage is...if you're divorced...if you're thinking about getting married....this is an incredible conference that packages God's power in principles that will mean life, hope and blessings for your marriage or ressurrection to that which you thought was completely dead!

I highly recommend everyone to check out Family Life's Weekend to Remember conferences held all over the country!

God bless you all!!

Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 9

"...be swift to hear, slow to speak..." James 1:19b

Wow...like a few other verses, this one targets my biggest weakness - my mouth! How I long to be swift to hear and slow to speak, but it takes practice. During this challenge, I admit I often failed to practice this desired trait. But it is amazing to me that when I had, I opened myself to learning about my husband.

Listening is difficult when it seems I have so much to say and so much that I want to communicate to my husband. I also find myself assuming that I know what he's about to say halfway through his sentence, so I begin to formulate my response. Do you do that too?

I pray we will all take the physiological hint the Lord has given us in TWO ears and only ONE mouth - be swift to hear and slow to speak! Listen to your husband and really seek to hear him! Like me, you might be surprised that you DIDN'T know what he was going to say and you might learn something new about him!

God bless you!

Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 8

“…but who can find a faithful man?” - Proverbs 20:6b

“Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow.”

I am overwhelmed at the onslaught men endure in our world. Sexual temptation bites at them at every turn, from the women inappropriately dressed everywhere they go, to the billboards advertising sinful scandalous places of prostitution, to the screaming sexuality from every display in the malls and shops. It is every where!

But when I came to this verse during this challenge, I am so grateful that my own husband has done his best to ready himself and obtain victory in the daily battle against sexual temptation - the temptations to lust after an illegitimate picture of what love and sexual satisfaction really are. I am grateful that he has been faithful to seek his fulfillment in our marriage bed, where the Lord rejoices over holy union. I am grateful for the way we have safeguarded our TV’s and computers in our home from the cruelty of the devil’s media schemes. I am grateful for my husband’s faithfulness!

I am no fool though, to think that this is the standard for every other marriage. Many marriages have been and continue to be ravaged by the weakness of the husbands and wives that cave to sexual temptation. I know there are women indulging their romantic fantasies online, in romance novels and in work relationships. I know there are men enslaved to pornography and men led astray by wanton women promising greener grass outside the fences of their marriages. The apple in the garden is still being held out by the serpent and eaten by so many of us.

If your marriage has been harmed by this prevalent sin, my heart hurts for you. I can only encourage you to lean on the Lord and continue to apply the hope of scripture. There is ALWAYS hope in Jesus Christ! He is the master of miracles, Creator and Sovereign Lord of all!! He can and wants to turn your marriage around. Keep appropriate boundaries for your safety and that of your children, but please do not stone wall your heart against unity or redemption. Pray for your husband and keep your hope, not in him, but in Jesus! Please continue to find encouragement for your husband, even if faithfulness is not his strength. Your faithfulness will shine as an example.

And if your husband is faithful, ladies, realize what a treasure you have and applaud it loudly!

Overcome

The human heart is said to be full of wickedness...every kind of vile desire we could imagine is nested from birth in our darkened hearts. When the Lord Jesus comes to live in us, the darkness gives way to light! Death gives way to life! But I often feel much like Paul...The things I want to do, I don't do. Those things I do not want to do, those I do. This from the same spiritual leader that gives us hope in verse like "count it all joy to suffer", "I have learned to be content", and so many other key encouraging passages in the New Testament.

I marvel at how difficult the Christian life can be. How the inner spiritual battle can wear us down and beat us against the rocks as waves of the culture and sinful desires seek to overcome us. How we can be overcome by the negativity of the world around us! I am astonished at how joyless our lives as Christians can become when we, of all people, should be the most joyFUL.

But there is a verse I have taken to heart as of late - Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. Couple that with the verse that says, take heart for I have overcome the world, and you have an encouraging command that promises the Lord's power within us.

So as I sit here marveling at the spiritual struggles I am enduring, I take these two Truths to heart:

1) Evil has already been defeated.

2) I can (and am commanded to) overcome evil because of the victory already won for me.

So if you are struggling with something - an addiction, a hardness in your heart, pride, weariness, depression, loss, anxiety, fear, whatever it is....take heart...Jesus has overcome all the world, and if you have Him, obeying the command to overcome the evil, be it in your heart or in the world, is not such an overwhelming or insurmountable task.

Come to the foot of the cross and remember that victory has been had already!!

Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 6

"...whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31b

If this challenge has been difficult for you...perhaps you are in a crisis marriage...each day is probably excruciating to you and seems to be taking the very strength of the solar system to be obedient to these verses. Even for some of us in a pretty stable or fairly healthy marriage, we can find this challenge difficult on some days. But early on we have been given a directive that I think is imperative to the remaining days: do it for the glory of God!

Let's not miss that this challenge isn't just about our husbands. This challenge is about taking God at His word and being obedient for the sake of the relationship you have with Him! The very role of a wife is such a beautiful picture of a helpmate...an encourager...one who comes alongside to reflect the love of Christ to her husband and the beauty of the Body of Christ to the world! I could not do it verbal justice if I tried to paint such a picture...but please, if this challenge is difficult for you, keep this verse handy. Keep this truth in front of you at all times...because ultimately, your obedience and submission is to the Lord Himself. And He promises to bless the walk of the righteous and the obedient.

Keep pressing on toward the goal, ladies! The goal is to be transformed by the Lord through the diligent application of His word! And when we are transformed, there is no way that our marriages go untouched by such a transformation...and I would be so encouraged to know that we are all moving into the wonders of His blessings because we have chosen to do marriage God's way!!

Now is the time...

I admit to feeling pretty disappointed, but not surprised at the outcome of the Presidential election. I am deeply saddened that so many voters were so overtly concerned with the "economy" and their "money" that they failed to vote for morality. Although that is not the case everywhere with other issues...marriage protection is holding strong in some areas and I am looking forward to seeing some of those things turn out for the good of the people. But when it came to electing a man that would in some way uphold morality, America as a whole has failed.

America has elected for their President a man who promised change. But America, I ask you...do you truly understand the change you have asked for? Do you understand the ramifications of the repeal of DOMA? Do you understand what abortion has done to this country and what this new administration's advancements of that agenda will continue to do to this nation? Do those of you who voted for Obama solely on the basis of the color of his skin, understand that you have completely undermined what Martin Luther King and so many civil rights activists fought for....judgement of a man NOT by the color of his skin but instead of the content of his character? (That totally casts shadows the victory of his election as the first African American president!) Do those of you who held up the economy as your number one issue have any idea how that reinforces a love for money and a lack of trust in God? Do any of you even care?

May God have mercy on us, America. We will get what we've asked for, but I pray it would be only taste enough to allow us to experience the bitterness of our sin. I pray that we, the people of this nation, will humble ourselves, repent and turn from the wicked ways of idolatry and love of money and material wealth...of murder, adultery, and vanity....that a revival will return the heart of this nation back to the God of the bible!! For once upon a time, not too long ago, we were declared a Christian nation - even by the supreme court justices, and I pray we would return to such a heartthrob once more and dispense with the vileness we now celebrate.

May God have mercy on me for being the kind of Christian that was apathetic in prayer until now. Christians, this is no time to hang our heads in defeat. The battle continues and so must our fight. The fight to see the Lord's name lifted on high, to see His people stand up for righteousness sake! Now is NOT the time to stop your prayers or count the losses. Now is the time for action! Now is the time to STAY on our knees!! Now is the time to lift Obama and his cabinet up to the Lord in prayer. Now is the time for personal revival and living out the Great commission! Now is the time for authenticity to be more than a catch phrase! Rise up brothers and sisters! Raise your voices in Praise for the Sovereign Lord STILL REIGNS!!

We are of no consequence in the light of an omnipotent and perfect God, but beloved, I earnestly ask you to remember that despite that truth, God has made himself available to us...He has reached down into our depravity with Hope, Light, Life and given us all that we need for eternity! He has paid the ultimate sacrifice to love the unlovely. After all He has given, how will You respond? Will you continue in apathy? Will you continue in personal rebellion? Will you continue to be self-seeking? Or will you repent and revel in the eternal joy of grace?

Now is the time...

Husband Encouragement Challenge - Day 5

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for
necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Another verse I have been so convicted by during this challenge. It is said that we since we have two ears and only one mouth, we should be listening twice the time we are talking. Have you ever tried to practice that? Perhaps for those of you who are naturally reserved in speech or shy and quiet that isn't such a difficult feat, but for those of you like me, who have been since gradeschool...as printed on numerous papers by the English teachers..."verbose", listening instead of talking is a challenge indeed!

So as Day 5 came and went, and through this challenge, I have sought to become a better listener. I still stumble and I still tend to be rather talkative, but bad habits are not always easily broken and good habits take time to solidify! So if this is you, I encourage you to keep trying. You may not be all that interested in what your husband says or perhaps you'd like to interject so many useful and "wise" things to enhance the conversation...but alas, let us learn to use our ears more than our mouths and listen to not only our husbands, but many others around us!

God bless and take care!