An Intimate Prayer

Lord,

I am feeling the weight of so many things on my shoulders today. It is precious to me that you gave me 1 Peter 5:7 that says "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." So here I am...I'm casting my anxiety on you.

I had to leave work today at 3pm and instead of being able to take Jonathan home, I dropped him off with my friend where he will now go every day after school. Now, I'm back at work...with only a few things that need to be filed...and a heart that aches wishing I were busy at home instead.

There is nothing I want more than to be at home with my son. Now my mind floods with moments I spent cleaning or working on something when I could have spent them playing with him. I think of times we went to the gym instead of going home. I think of times he was playing and I just watched something on TV. And now, I have no more moments in the afternoon. Now, I will pick up Jonathan sometime after 5pm and go home, make dinner, walk the dogs and start our bath time routine. No more playtime, no more trips to the park, no more video game challenges, or all the other things we used to do together.

Perhaps it shouldn't bother me as much as it is...but I feel like I've lost a lot more than it seems I've lost on the surface. Tears sting my eyes to know that 10 or more hours I used to have at home are now going to be spent at work instead.

If this work hour change wasn't enough, I'm also still struggling with the tax issue and the huge number we seem to owe. I'm struggling with the stress of daily life...marriage, housekeeping, friends experiencing deeper heartache than me, and all the rest.

I feel so weighed down, Lord. So heavy laden... I come to you for rest. Please help me. Give me strength and peace to just walk step by step through daily life right now. Dry my tears and help me to rejoice over the long list of blessings you have bestowed upon me and my family! Help me to remember the deep gratitude I should have for you and all you've given! I love you, Jesus. Thank you for everything...everything you do...and everything you are! You are my hero!