I'm excited, scared, anxious, gleeful and a host of other emotions difficult to articulate! But I think I'm starting to see a bit of what has been going on with me lately. See, I've been in this rut (per my previous blog), and it has been difficult to get out of it. As a matter of fact, I'm still not out of it. However, the spiritual warfare surrounding me is beginning to become clearer to me. I have been feeling depressed. Not a usual thing for me, but sometimes, if it isn't some obvious sin in my life causing me to be downcast, depression usually signals something spiritually important is about to happen. Now, there always seems to be sin in my life of one kind or another that I'm realizing or struggling with, but last night I caught a glimpse of something spiritually important! Which is the cause for great excitement and glee!
Yesterday, the Lord gave me an incredible divine appointment, but let me give you some background on the development of this whole thing first. Since I moved into this particular apartment, my heart has been to begin building relationships with my neighbors. Last year, I realized that I had been isolated in my "church" cocoon and had not intentionally built relationships with anyone outside of the "believer capsule". What kind of Christian did the Lord want me to be? - I asked myself. Not the kind that sat, soaked and soured for sure!! So I began a prayer ministry. It wasn't very effective in my opinion, but then, I'm not sure I spent enough time preparing - being prepared myself spiritually that is. But nonetheless, there is a prayer box in our apartment office and I get prayer requests randomly from different residents and pray for them.
I also got more intentional about my actions. I made it a point to talk to neighbors, smile and greet people I met. My neighbors are friendly and sweet, and I have had some great opportunities to have conversations and encourage a couple of the women who live near me. It's been awesome! The whole point was to reach out and let the people of this apartment complex know that I cared and that Jesus cared. I wanted to be the kind of Christian that God lifts up in the bible - Paul, David, Abraham, Peter, etc. I wanted my light to so shine that the world would see my good works and praise my Father in heaven! Oh how I want people to see who Jesus really is! And if I can show them just a little of what I have been given...I just don't understand a person who would reject it! It is TOO sweet and wonderful!
So some intentionality and some prayer have begun to lay the building blocks of these relationships. Which has been awesome! Then yesterday, I made an unusual stop at my apartment complex office to do some paperwork, and a neighbor I have talked to a couple of times was there and needed a ride somewhere. I was glad to take her and we spent the majority of the evening talking about all kinds of things and talking about spiritual matters too. It was great to get to know her a bit!
But the best part of all, is that this timing in her life is one of great spiritual turmoil and the Lord gave me the grace to come in and be a help to her! I cannot express how much joy I feel when the Lord uses me in the lives of other people. The joy was all the more because it was one of the neighbors the Lord has put on my heart! Over this past year or so, God has changed my heart, given me purpose, and is now doing the next thing in His plan!
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HOW THAT WORKS!!! God said, "For I know the plans I have for you...plans not to harm you, but to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future!!" He also said, "Ask and I will give you the nations". Oh how small my faith that I asked only for my apartment complex! But how faithful He is to begin giving it!
So there is the latest chapter in my life! I am still struggling with the heart condition and the attitude. So please pray, if you would, for the Lord to reveal to me any sin in my life that needs to be dealt with, and pray for a repentant heart on my part, and that the Lord would be glorified in all that I think, say and do!!
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you! Psalm 63:3
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