So today was our first session of premarital counseling with our minister. Next week we will be sharing our testimonies and going through a short list of questions. One of which details what we expect to gain from marriage? While at first, I thought I had no expectations, I realized that was not true. I think I just didn't want to think about them...in case they were somehow ungodly. But no matter what my thoughts or expectations were...I needed to begin sorting them out.
First, I believe marriage is God's blessing to mankind. In Genesis, the first time God said something was NOT good was in reference to Adam being alone. God was going to make him a suitable helper. God created marriage to meet specific needs in his creatures' lives. So here I am in one of those "no-duh" moments thinking about my expectations for marriage. Once I get beyond my superficiality, I find that I have two basic reasons for getting married.
1) I expect God to use marriage to shape me into the woman He wants me to be. I know the desire for my husband is a God-given thing. I know that He blessed me with Jonathan and with the hunger to mother many other children (whether it be of my own flesh or through fostering or adoption). Those desires point me back to relationship with Him and I expect that marriage will do the same thing. Every relationship, but especially this most intimate one, is a refining tool in God's hand. I expect this marriage to be used to sharpen my character, honing humility, patience, love, kindness, selflessness, and various other aspects, in order to make me more like Jesus.
2) I expect to be a helper. Despite our countless ups and downs and the number of times I've been desperate to flush this relationship, I have been inexplicably drawn back to this man. His unconditional love for me and for my son has been steadfast and consistent. And there may be things about him that I don't understand or don't like, but there is much to love and admire. I love his heart for people. I love his loyalty and devotion to his family. I love that he is an incredibly hard working man. He's romantic and funny. He loves God's church and serving. All of these things and more have created this desire in me to work alongside him. I want to be his helper. His big dream for life is have a family...to be a husband and father, and I expect marriage to draw me into that helper role so that he can be the best husband and father God designed him to be.
I think (and truly hope) that my expectations in the broad brush strokes will serve our marriage well. God knows my heart contains numerous personal expectations of myself and of my fiance that I will need to identify and sort out according to His word...but hey - that's what the counseling is for!! :)
And the Lord also knows that fear and insecurity still wrestle for control of my heart, especially concerning relationship and the impending marriage. So many details...it can be so overwhelming at times. But somehow, I am finding the most unusual reminders of how crucial it is to place my WHOLE trust...my WHOLE life...in Christ. Finding my peace and security in the One who truly takes care of me each and every day drives me forward. Learning how to let go of the control I falsely believe I have is hard, but there is no greater freedom and no greater joy than a life fully devoted to Christ. So I press on toward the goal!
First, I believe marriage is God's blessing to mankind. In Genesis, the first time God said something was NOT good was in reference to Adam being alone. God was going to make him a suitable helper. God created marriage to meet specific needs in his creatures' lives. So here I am in one of those "no-duh" moments thinking about my expectations for marriage. Once I get beyond my superficiality, I find that I have two basic reasons for getting married.
1) I expect God to use marriage to shape me into the woman He wants me to be. I know the desire for my husband is a God-given thing. I know that He blessed me with Jonathan and with the hunger to mother many other children (whether it be of my own flesh or through fostering or adoption). Those desires point me back to relationship with Him and I expect that marriage will do the same thing. Every relationship, but especially this most intimate one, is a refining tool in God's hand. I expect this marriage to be used to sharpen my character, honing humility, patience, love, kindness, selflessness, and various other aspects, in order to make me more like Jesus.
2) I expect to be a helper. Despite our countless ups and downs and the number of times I've been desperate to flush this relationship, I have been inexplicably drawn back to this man. His unconditional love for me and for my son has been steadfast and consistent. And there may be things about him that I don't understand or don't like, but there is much to love and admire. I love his heart for people. I love his loyalty and devotion to his family. I love that he is an incredibly hard working man. He's romantic and funny. He loves God's church and serving. All of these things and more have created this desire in me to work alongside him. I want to be his helper. His big dream for life is have a family...to be a husband and father, and I expect marriage to draw me into that helper role so that he can be the best husband and father God designed him to be.
I think (and truly hope) that my expectations in the broad brush strokes will serve our marriage well. God knows my heart contains numerous personal expectations of myself and of my fiance that I will need to identify and sort out according to His word...but hey - that's what the counseling is for!! :)
And the Lord also knows that fear and insecurity still wrestle for control of my heart, especially concerning relationship and the impending marriage. So many details...it can be so overwhelming at times. But somehow, I am finding the most unusual reminders of how crucial it is to place my WHOLE trust...my WHOLE life...in Christ. Finding my peace and security in the One who truly takes care of me each and every day drives me forward. Learning how to let go of the control I falsely believe I have is hard, but there is no greater freedom and no greater joy than a life fully devoted to Christ. So I press on toward the goal!
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