Veteran's Day: A Personal Reflection

Every fourth of July and Veteran's day is a sobering reminder of my time as a US Marine. Most of the people I know met me long after I left the Marines, so some do not even know that I was there. For many years, I felt that I hadn't really even earned the right to say I had been there, that I was a US Marine. I didn't even finish my school tour in 29 Palms due to a medical discharge. The only thing I felt I could say I had accomplished while "serving" was crossing the parade deck of Parris Island. THAT I was proud of. But the stage of life I was in during my time as a Marine was tainted with so much personal turmoil that it has been very hard to separate the honor and privilege it was to serve my country (even in peace time) from the heartache that I knew in day-to-day life and relationships.

It was not until about mid-way through basic training that I realized what I was even doing there. Chanting "kill, kill, kill" to the beat of boots marching in formation brought to mind the stark reality that this was real...I was training for war. I was training to defend my countrymen, defend our freedom, to kill if necessary any enemy - foreign or domestic - in order to protect America and what she stands for: Freedom. I was part of the continuation of generations of soldiers who would lay down their lives for this country. I remember the pride of learning all I could in how to be the best Marine I could be. The history, the physical discipline, weapon's training, tactics, equipment....As a woman, I knew that being a Marine would mean going above and beyond to prove myself in what had always been a man's world. Each week, each task learned, each accomplishment that brought me closer to the day I would graduate a member of the United States Marine Corps was exciting and heady in a way that only those who have gone there themselves would understand.

The first clash of my professional and personal lives came on the rifle range. A letter from my sister brought devasting news from home - news that required several women to hold me back from walking off the island and using my training to defend against a domestic enemy. It wasn't the only letter I received in my years as a Marine. It wasn't the only bad news. It wasn't the only heartbreak. And even though my time as a Marine was overshadowed so often by personal tragedy, I still carry with me the memories, the pride of a sharply pressed uniform, a ready weapon, and a head held high. I still have the heart of protection that aches for those who can't defend themselves against the enemy - be that enemy foreign or domestic. I might have traded in my M-16 for God's word, but I didn't trade in my discipline to make sure I maintain that "expert" level when using my weapon against those enemies wherever the front line be drawn.

I am a soldier. Training in the Marines prepared me to be part of God's Corps, even if it seemed to be spent discovering every flaw, every weakness and every failure within me. Just like in bootcamp, I had to learn to die to myself and live and train for someone else...for the good of the group. It taught me that doing that is hard work and takes a great deal of sacrifice. But it's worth it. The blood, sweat and tears are worth it. So while I can't say my time served looked anything like most veterans, I can say that I was there to fight for my country and to serve. In the end, God used my many failures to make me a better soldier...a better weapon in HIS hands instead of the hands of the US government. Learning that over the past couple of years, I can now hold my head high on days like Veteran's Day. Because I am still a soldier. My weapon is still ready, my training still ongoing, my delusion of peace time gone and a picture of the war at hand....I am His soldier.

So I do stand up, head held high in the confidence of who He made me to be and I give rightly due respect, my prayers and my support to every Veteran who is and has gone before me. For the lives who been lost to the ravages of war...for the men and women who have sacrificed to defend against all enemies - foreign or domestic....I salute you. May the courage of this generation and the generations to come not waiver. May we draw strength from the the Lord and from those who have gone before us. It is more than a cliche slogan or a nice bumper sticker to me, when I say this, I mean it with all my heart - God please bless America and it's people.

Semper Fidelis,
Shannon Wright