It's hard to get my thoughts together on the events of the last 24 hours, but if you don't know this about me already - I'm an external processor! Which means, I work through things OUT LOUD. :D
Last night, my husband called me up and gave me the news no wife wants to hear - "I've been let go." I would have to describe my reaction as "shell shock". I sat in silence, bombarded by the millions of thoughts suddenly racing through my mind, not one of them capable of formulating a supportive or encouraging response to my husband. I hung up the phone and began to pray, but my prayers wouldn't come any better than my thoughts. I reached for my phone, thinking one of my closest friends could speak a word to my heart and racing mind that would put me on track. But...none of them answered. So there I was, suddenly suffocating under the weight of my own anxiety and I did the one thing that comes naturally in that type of situation - I burst into tears.
Perhaps you're thinking that I was most concerned about what the checkbook would look like in the upcoming days and weeks, but I was only concerned about who would greet my husband at the door when he finally reached home. The person saturated in tears and panic wanted nothing more than to have a calm, godly reaction to this event and welcome her husband with open arms and a word of confidence and reassurance that he was still "the man"! But no such demeanor or words were coming to fruition.
So I kept praying...I kept telling God that I needed to be the kind of wife that would rush to her husband's side and tackle this thing together with prayer, encouragement and hope not in things seen, but hope in things unseen. I also sent out text messages to every person I could asking them to pray for me. By the time my husband came home, I had finished praying and joined my son in playing a video game in the living room. I was able to greet my husband with some encouragement, but I found that he was more of an encouragement to me. In our conversation, I broke and went from discussing details, to asking him just to reassure me. My Knight came to my side, put his arms around me, looked into my eyes and said, "Shannon, it's going to be okay."
And it will. God is bigger than our checkbook, bigger than our anxieties and our shortcomings. He's going to do something really great in our lives with this. We will be molded and shaped into His likeness in ways we couldn't otherwise have experienced. For that, regardless of financial worries and woes, we will praise Him. We will count our blessings and learn to exercise our faith in new and deeper ways!
2 comments:
Just wanted to let you know that we prayed for you as soon as we got your text message, even though we didn't know what was going on. As the wife of a man in the construction business, I know exactly how it feels to get that phone call and not know how to react. We've been through it twice. Knowing how to encourage your husband is super hard, because he wants to feel like he is able to take care of his family. Trusting God to provide and sustain is even harder. But, you never trust God more than when there is no security in the worldly things! We'll continue to pray for your family. Keep us posted on any specific requests that come up.
Thanks Amy! I so appreciate your prayers and support. I praise the Lord that we have such an incredible family of faith. No matter what happens, I know He'll take care of us and we'll be okay. And I'm learning a lot with regard to trust and obedience! So in the end, those lessons of faith and growth are priceless. :D
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