Perseverance and Endurance

So I figured I would post an update on some things going on in my life.

1) WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

I accepted a friend's challenge to lose 20lbs for $20 in late September. Weighing in at 240 lbs on September 25th, this was my highest weight since being in my final months of pregnancy. I have struggled for years and I thought perhaps this was really the time I would change. But it has been so discouraging to have seen this yo-yo effect on the scale each week. Week 1 - down 4 lbs. Week two - gain 1 lb. Week three - down 2 lbs. Week four - gain 3 lbs. That 3 lbs weight gain really got to me. I really wanted to quit. I felt like all of my efforts had been for nothing. A whole month had passed and I was at 238? Why? I had been watching what I ate, going to gym, drinking water, and trying to ensure I got enough rest each night. I put my scale in the cabinet declaring I wouldn't take it out again until December 4th. (The end of the challenge.)

But I knew better than to say thing like that. I was angry and hurt and discouraged. The circumstances shook my faith and I found myself looking at the problem instead of the solution. Perseverance and endurance are heralded in the bible...but those character traits are not ones you just wake up with one day. They are character traits that God builds in a person willing to keep getting back up, dusting off and trying again. If I know that losing weight is about taking care of my body in honor of the Lord that gave me life, then the scale is not my dictator of what is or isn't success. Granted, getting to a healthy weight is important for health reasons, but I realized that I can't ride the emotional roller coaster aligned with the up and down scale results.

So this week, I lost 4 lbs. Go figure. I didn't even watch what I ate until Wednesday. I didn't go to the gym at all and I lose 4 lbs. But, I have decided to go back to the low-carb eating plan my doctor recommended a while back. With my family history of diabetes and the fact that my usual diet is predominantly carbs, it was something I could see benefiting me. I followed the Atkins plan several years ago and lost 25 lbs, so I know it works. Keeping to it stinks though because I LOVE my carbs! lol But oh well. I can do without pasta in every dinner. All my carbs now come from vegetables for now. I'll add some whole grains back in down the road, but for now, I'm retraining my body and mind to run on fuel rather than desire! I have 5 more weigh-ins and 16 lbs to lose to meet the challenge. I don't know if I can lose that much weight, but in the end, I have a lot more than 20 lbs to lose...so it's about the long term journey!

2) GRACE

I think my weight-loss journey has taught me a lot about grace. Yet, there are so many other things God has brought in and out of each day to teach me about His unconditional love and the motivation His sacrifice brings to my life. My husband is a wonderful instrument of His grace and so is my son. I can think of so many things I've done that warrants my family's anger and not their love, yet I wake up to a caring, warm and very loving family each and every day. My husband helps around the house by doing the dishes and helping with the laundry. He is getting our son ready for school each day, packing his lunch and taking him. He encourages me and always ensures that I know how much he loves me. My son is tender and sweet and writes these notes and puts them in envelopes. He draws pictures of just me and him with hearts. His hugs and kisses are so precious to me. He sure does love his mama! Even my dogs, with their slobbery kisses and happy tails wagging remind me that I am loved. To think that sin once held me in permanent death, but now I have the freedom to be propelled by the love of my Heavenly Father and am surrounded by evidences of His fingerprints in my world is simple indescribable.

In the end, what does that mean though? Grace is a motivator. My counselor talks about a passage in Romans that is the "comfort" and the "call". I have historically been great with the "call". I get rules and regulations and "have to's" and "ought to's" and "should's". But I have rarely understood "I get to..." in the context of a grace-motivated relationship. So I've taken some wonderful moments and here is my process:

A) I receive grace - be it from God, from my family or friends....

B) I deny selfishness - because that keeps me complacent

C) I chose a means of extending love - to my husband, my son, co-workers, friends...

D) I receive more grace

What I've learned is that this process reflects similarities to my weight-loss journey. It's three steps forward, two steps back. I will always receive more grace from the Lord than I give out, but when I try (and fall short), I progress. It might be slow and sometimes discouraging, but in the end....I'm seeing change slowly develop over time. Comes back to that character development. Perseverance and endurance. I can live by faith when I realize that I am loved apart from my performance and what I do becomes an outpouring of the character the Lord has developed and is developing!

So anyway...sorry for the long-winded update. Hopefully you are blessed to remember that life is a journey...along a winding road that almost seems to double-back sometimes. But it's important that we not forget Who authored the journey and that "now" is just one small spot on the road. Whatever you're facing...whatever the challenge or discouragement is in your life, there is a bigger picture to keep in mind. You can let Him pick you up, dust you off, and you can try again.