Off Course

I am sure everyone feels this way at some point, but I am way off course. My head, my heart, my body...even the most steady part of me - my mind - is all off course. I could berate myself and list all of the little things I did wrong that landed me in the middle of no where instead of the plotted destination, but with me...it's just a matter of discipline. This year for me has been about discipline (or should I say, the lack thereof). My latest and greatest showing of it was managing to gain almost 20 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks. Wow. I usually only average 10lbs in a year. I doubled that in a matter of days. But that is what happens when you dive back into overeating.

When I think about it, I am not sure I ever realized how awful the effects of overeating were. My past overeating was not at every meal and was not as bad as it has been the last couple of weeks. Having seen it, it is shocking what it has done to my body in such a short time and how badly I feel. I have not felt this bad in at least 6 months.

But if I have figured anything out about discipline (which honestly I have not figured out much), I have realized that discipline only happens under God's grace. My legalism surged and thus surged my rebellion. I can only keep my tongue in check when God's grace is on my heart. Then the words I speak are of His grace and not my own wickedness. I know the same has to be true with this overeating venture. I have lost sight of His grace on me for the past month when it comes to exercise and eating...legalism set in and in the end, I rebelled by eating everything I could stuff my face with.

So here we go again...back to the foot of the cross to confess my sin and seek His grace. Without Him, I have no hope to turn my life around with respect to diet and exercise. Gluttony is a sin. Laziness is too! Recent events are a picture of how sin gives birth to death. Now to gain some respect for my Lord and be empowered by His grace.