Off Course

I am sure everyone feels this way at some point, but I am way off course. My head, my heart, my body...even the most steady part of me - my mind - is all off course. I could berate myself and list all of the little things I did wrong that landed me in the middle of no where instead of the plotted destination, but with me...it's just a matter of discipline. This year for me has been about discipline (or should I say, the lack thereof). My latest and greatest showing of it was managing to gain almost 20 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks. Wow. I usually only average 10lbs in a year. I doubled that in a matter of days. But that is what happens when you dive back into overeating.

When I think about it, I am not sure I ever realized how awful the effects of overeating were. My past overeating was not at every meal and was not as bad as it has been the last couple of weeks. Having seen it, it is shocking what it has done to my body in such a short time and how badly I feel. I have not felt this bad in at least 6 months.

But if I have figured anything out about discipline (which honestly I have not figured out much), I have realized that discipline only happens under God's grace. My legalism surged and thus surged my rebellion. I can only keep my tongue in check when God's grace is on my heart. Then the words I speak are of His grace and not my own wickedness. I know the same has to be true with this overeating venture. I have lost sight of His grace on me for the past month when it comes to exercise and eating...legalism set in and in the end, I rebelled by eating everything I could stuff my face with.

So here we go again...back to the foot of the cross to confess my sin and seek His grace. Without Him, I have no hope to turn my life around with respect to diet and exercise. Gluttony is a sin. Laziness is too! Recent events are a picture of how sin gives birth to death. Now to gain some respect for my Lord and be empowered by His grace.

A Marathon? Really?

I must be crazy! It's pretty surreal to think I'm really doing this...I'm training for a marathon!

Wow! So this week is only week 1...it's about being on my feet and walking a lot. I've gotten out of the habit of longs walks with my dogs, thus out of the habit of walking. So we're starting there with 30 minutes 3 times a week. Next week, I'll integrate interval jogging and swimming as well...it's an upward progression that gets me to running and then running longer and faster.

The event is the Big D Texas Marathon next April. It gives me 10 months to train, but even so, we're talking going from little exercise to running 26.2 miles in less than 6 hours (There is a cap to the marathon time). It's recommended a first time marathon runner train well for 4-6 months. Being where I am, I need the added 4 months to make sure I actually finish!

I've not really undertaken a lot of big goals in my life, but as I've incorporated discipline little by little, this is the first time I'm really thinking "this is not impossible". That's huge for me! I said I would get married...I'm married. I said I would be an Awana leader - I did it. I said I would do an at home bootcamp - I did. I'm still working at losing my excess weight, but slowly it is coming off. I said I would graduate from college - I just completed the Spring Term and even aced one of my finals with a score of 100. So I'm doing it. I'm making goals and keeping them. I'm failing some and getting back up, dusting myself off and pressing forward! And THAT is all anyone can do.

So here is my next goal - run a marathon. Lord help me, it is a daunting task, much like losing my excess weight and getting completely out of debt. But little by little, week by week - I'll get there and cross the finish line! The journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step, right? :D