It isn't every day us moms stop long enough to take a deep breath, much less, sit down to a computer and write out our deep thoughts about what it is that God somehow deemed us fit to parent His creations. But today, that's what I'm doing...well, at least it's my attempt.
I'm in absolute awe that God would look down into all the world and pick me of all people to mother my son, Jonathan. How in the world did He decide I would be the right one for the job of cultivating such a tender and sensitive heart? What made Him think I would know how to deal with his stubbornness and willfulness? Can I possibly direct that for the glory of God? Could He have ever thought I was capable of training up such a treasured child as Jonathan? These questions and others have often buzzed in my head with no certain and accepted answers in sight. Then I realize I'm coming at it from the wrong angle - how typical. It wasn't about me at all. Sure God chose me to be a mom, but it was out of grace - His unmerited favor and undeserved pardon. It was NOT because of some inate capabilities, skills or qualities. It was because of His Sovereign Grace!
Realizing that is rather humbling - far more humbling than the line of questioning that preceded the realization.
God has a masterful plan - one so detailed, intricate, delicate, and vast, it is incomprehensible! Yet, I am woven into the fabric of this masterpiece as a mom. Chosen to bear, responsible to train, and accountable to the overwhelming task of mothering Jonathan. Oh how impossible a task were it not for the same Grace that called me in the first place!
Mother's Day is but one day on some commercial calendar for the economic benefit of Hallmark and like companies, but every day is a day to remember what an honor and privilege and heavy responsibility motherhood really is! God's grace to each and every mom out there - in abundance!
The burden of myheart grows heavy
It weighs my spirit down
This burden I cannot bear
It's chains are all around
I long to know its name
I wish it would rest
To lay it in another place
Oh I'd be so blessed
But I somehow carry on
without an end in sight
longing for a rescue
from the darkness of this plight
Yet a lesson to be learned
from each and every place
a road of teaching to travel
a journey about His grace
This burden of my heart grows heavy
I struggled to carry on
Darkness wraps me tightly
I pray to see the dawn
But in light of no reprieve
I settle in His arms
and ask again to realize
all my lack of charms
For what other reason
Would a loving God bring
a wilderness experience
a heart of suffering
Than to teach His precious child
the tenderness of Grace
to hold her in His arms
and look into her face
Reminding her of love
so deep and long and wide
that bears each bit of burden
when in Him she does abide
Yes, this burden of my heart grows heavy
Indeed the chains are long
But my God is mighty in power
My Savior is very strong
He'll overcome this heartache
He will see me through
To the other side of darkness
where skies are clear and blue
Where my burden will be lifted
My tears wiped clean away
Where the dark of the night
becomes the dawn of day
The burden of my heart grows heavy
It weighs my spirit down
But it will not have the victory
Because His love abounds