I've been reflecting lately on my job as a mother. I have so many blessings that have helped me as of late: my employer granting me a new schedule, tons of resources and testimonies, and most of all, the Lord Himself! All things are working together for the good of parenting my son! It's amazing to see how much he's grown. He'll be six years old at the end of this year! Six years have flown by, and I admit I am ashamed that more of those years than not, have been less than intentional when it comes to parenting (training my son up in what I know to be biblical in nature). Yet, after two and a half years of learning what it means to be intentional, I am so blessed to know I'm on the right track to really getting to the heart of parenting...leaving a Christ-centered legacy.
What does that legacy mean? It means I am to teach and train, but most of all - MODEL my relationship with Christ in front of my children. When I do that, I am investing scripture, behavior examples, and valuable life skills for my son to carry with him throughout the rest of his life. At the end of each day, I want to lay my head on the pillow knowing that I did what I could to show him what Jesus is like and how the relationship with Jesus works in the day-to-day. What an incredibly difficult and challenging job! One I could never, in a million years, get even close to right without Jesus' power driving me on every day!
The latest victory was one where Jonathan decided to throw a particularly terrible fit. I thank the Lord that I not only seemed calmed and peaceful through the whole ordeal - I actually WAS calm and peaceful through the whole ordeal!! I was able to use some recently acquired skills and tips in helping him see that he was choosing to do the wrong thing. The whole thing lasted well over an hour, but ended with my son repenting and accepting the consequences for his actions. It was truly a beautiful thing! What used to end with both of us in tears and frustration, ended with smiles and a new beginning! Not because I'm some kind of super-mom, but because God is empowering me to be intentional, consistent, and patient. The Lord has put wise people in my path and great parenting resources based on His word in my hands. But most of all, the Lord has given me grace to make it thus far!! Five and half years of tantrums. Years of tears and frustration and disappointment...feeling like a failure as a mom. And now, by grace...I'm learning and making progress.
Is it perfect? Oh my - no way!!! Is it even close? Nope! But I can see changes in my household's peace level. I see a son who is becoming more and more willing to take ownership for his actions and to say he's sorry. A son who is learning that making bad choices hurts - sin hurts!! And I love it. I love seeing the progress.
For any mom who has come to the end of herself, to the end of patience, to the end of sanity! I know that feeling. I know how discouraging it can be to feel like what you're doing isn't making a bit of difference. To think that if another day like this comes any time soon, you just won't make it and your child probably won't either! But I've learned that there is ALWAYS HOPE!! There is always more to learn, more to apply, and an abundance of strength and patience to recieve for the job at hand.
But I've also learned, that you can't do any of it without grace. Without giving yourself room to be imperfect, or heaven forbid - outright fail! Giving yourself room to mess up without being convinced that somehow your kid will be messed up for life becuase you didn't play out a particular scene with Super-Nanny flawlessness will go a long way in helping you keep your chin up, your eyes a bit drier, and your heart a little less burdened. And when you receive grace, you are so much more likely to GIVE grace! Which is a key ingredient in training our children!
Parenting is too hard a job to try to do it without grace, so please stop going that route if you are. Be the best you can be, but let God do the hard part. Just be available to Him to be used to your full, God-given parenting potential!! It's really the laws of the harvest. We reap WHAT we sow. We reap WHERE we sow. We reap MORE than we sow. We reap LATER than we sow. If you invest in your children the righteousness of Christ, you will, by promise of the Lord, be blessed. You will see more than you ever invested blossom in their lives! But patience is key...it's a long wait sometimes. Perhaps days, weeks, months or even years. But keep it all in perspective...think eternally and you will find that there is so much more joy to be had in motherhood!!
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