Being a Big Girl

I've been listening to a Mary Kay CD by Gloria Mayfield recently, and something she said has really struck me. She talked about making "Big Girl Decisions". Decisions about attitude and outlook and activities. Decisions about business, but also about life. In addition, I've been reflecting on Proberbs 31:10-31, the passage about being a wife of noble character. The proverbs 31 wife is a definitely a "big girl". But where is the application of "being a big girl"...I mean, doesn't that come with age. I'm 30, so you would think I would know how to think and act like a "big girl". But I'm beginning to think it is a little more complicated than just aging.

Proverbs 31 definitely doesn't mention anything about age...it talks about her actions, her reputation, and her attitude! And while it is a pretty "heavy" resume, I think the Lord wants us to be the kind of woman we find in proverbs 31: hardworking, confident, service-minded, charitable, wise, discerning, fearless, industrious, dignified, strong, carrying a sense of humor, and reverent. I don't see that as impossible for any women! But we will not, dare I say "cannot", exemplify any of those things without maturing beyond "little girl" attitudes and behaviors.

I can look back over my life and see where I was wounded as a little girl and it "handicapped" me growing into adulthood. When we are wounded as children, we have to recognize the hurt, deal with it and allow the Lord to heal us so that we can continue on in this life in a healthy manner. I've come to see that I'm still working on this process. Lately, I have not felt like much of a "big girl". Internally, I am throwing some serious "fits" as of late! Struggling with selfishness, pride, and all kinds of heart ugliness! :( And while I didn't recognize it at first, I am beginning to see this as the Lord pulling back some more layers in my life to reveal areas in which He longs to heal and change, restore and renew. I have to say though...I'm not really liking it. Growing up is hard to do!

I've had to make all kinds of "big girl decisions" lately. Decisions about my attitude and whether or not I'm going to let a "bad moment" become a "bad day". Decisions about whether I'm going to do the things I need to do on a daily basis or give excuses as to why I can't. Decisions about whether or not I will whine or complain. Decisions about how I care for and care about those around me. Decisions about money and time. Decisions about words. So many decisions that I have to admit, it has been rather overwhleming. But really, it's all part of my "big girl" life now. I'm not a little girl anymore (and haven't been for some time now). lol

Do you ever feel like that? Like you'd much rather throw a little girl fit than walk upright and make your big girl decision for the moment? Do you ever find yourself NOT biting your tongue and holding back those choice words that flow so easily from the dagger in your mouth to the heart of your husband, child or friend? Do you ever find yourself pouting or creating drama just because someone did something and your feelings are hurt? I think it's time we all recognize our "little girl" tendencies and grow up to be the "big girls" we really are!!

God bless you and may we all be a little more like "Big Girls" today!