Telling Jonathan About the Baby

I had to make this a separate little note because Jonathan is just so precious. Shortly after Shea and I got married, Jonathan began asking for a little brother. Sometimes, he asked for two. As time went on, his pleas were even more desperate..."When can I have a little brother OR a sister?" Bless his heart, he just didn't want to be an only child anymore. He wanted a sibling! Our answer to him was always to pray. God is the giver of such blessings and we had limited (much more than originally thought) control over the when and how of our family being expanded.

So Jonathan did pray. He prayed all the time. For weeks and months, it seemed almost daily, he asked "Do we have a baby yet?" During an altar call at church, Jonathan went forward, but not to pray for salvation. He told Pastor Chris he wanted to pray for babies. Needless to say, I had some explaining to do on that one.

But Jonathan kept praying and kept asking. Years have gone by and we had continued to tell him to pray with our answer always being "not yet". So when my pregnancy test came back, unexpectedly, "pregnant", I had to smile at God's tender answer to a little boy's heart felt prayer over the past several years.

I waited until that Friday evening to share the news with my husband and then we sat Jonathan down to tell him the news. Reminding Jonathan of his many prayers, we told him "We're having a baby!" Jumping to his feet with a squeal he shouted, "FINALLY! It has taken FOREVER!" What an amazing thing to see. Even though Jonathan is not saved yet, I see how God is tenderly wooing his strong-willed, independent heart. It fuels my own heart to continue praying and more fervently pray, for his salvation. Wish I would have video-taped the breaking of the news to Jonathan, but hopefully this little online footprint will serve to remind us what a precious moment this was for prayer to be answered!

Life!

I think it humorous now that I had such a concrete, logical plan for our family expansion that surely this was what God wanted. Next year, Shea and I would begin the process of adopting a child through the foster care system. We would get a little boy about 5-7 years old. It would keep me working for a little while longer while we completed the process of getting out of debt. It would also give Jonathan the little brother he has been praying for ever since Shea and I got married. And all the pieces would just fit together so well.

HA!

I think God must get a huge laugh when I get my mind fixed on some plan I have. "Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 Our family was such a plan. My husband and I had many plans in our hearts. I so desperately wanted to stay at home and be just a wife and mother. My husband has career and financial goals. We both are so eager to get to the other side of our debt mountain and see it cleared once and for all. We thought having six children sounded delightfully challenging and wonderful all at the same time. We are truly big dreamers, he and I! Perhaps that is one reason we go so well together. Yet, the truth of scripture prevails. Regardless of our plans, God had His own purpose and plan in place and once again...it didn't match ours!

Friday, September 2nd, I finally couldn't wait any longer for the inevitable monthly cycle to start. I was several days late at this point...something was going on. At 12:30am I woke up and couldn't help myself...it was morning, let's take a pregnancy test! I watched rather nervously as the hourglass on the digital display went round and round, letting me know the test was working. Within what seemed like - I don't know ETERNITY - the reading popped up "PREGNANT". I was expecting to be scared and anxious and I don't know what. Instead, I felt like a giggly school-girl. A huge smile came across my face and I was happy! I was more than happy! I was ecstatic! Which, honestly, didn't make a lick of sense. How in the world were we going to afford a baby? We had at least 18 more months worth of debt to settle!

So thus begins our journey of ditching the plans and seeing what God has in store for us instead. Our heart convictions remain. I belong at home with our children, taking care of our home. My husband is and will continue to be an amazing provider. As far as the debt, God help us, enough of the mountain will be scaled and conquered by the time this baby comes, that we will continue to pay our bills without issue. At this point, we are just taking a day at a time and praying that God would lead us through this new and exciting chapter of our lives!