Happy New Year

The new year brings with it a sense of renewal and starting fresh. It gives people a chance to implement changes and bring about something "better". Making new year's resolutions isn't exactly my thing, but I do like to set goals for each year, so I guess it's essentially the same thing! So here goes...my goals for this coming year (in no particular order):

* Successfully complete the "pre-baby" financial plan that leaves us with only a little to pay on our car and the student loans (all other debts PAID IN FULL).

* Finish 3 complete bible study series

* Read at least one book per month

* Stay on the advanced diet throughout the year (to keep myself from gaining too much weight during pregnancy and aiding in weight loss after the baby is born)

* Implement healthy habits: daily bible study, regular exercise, overall healthy diet, chore completion, and regular relaxation

* (this is probably my most important goal) Live joyfully! I want to enjoy the Lord, enjoy my family and friends and deeply love the life God has given me. Grace is the key to that...so this year - I'm taking an active role in learning to embrace grace and live joyfully!

There you have it! Goals set, new year off to a great start, and as always, so much to look forward to because the Lord is so gracious! Even if today was my last day on earth...heaven looks better every single day!! Can hardly wait to spend eternity with my Savior!

BIG GIVE

WOW! I am so blown away by God's multiplication! Each year our church gives out tens of thousands of dollars asking each member that takes an envelope to use what the Lord has given them to multiply it for the Lord's work! Our family received a hefty $40 this year! Our original idea was to make ornate Christmas decorations! However, the project frustratingly flopped and we were left with baking cookies.

At first, I really believed it would be very difficult to get much of a return on investment from cookies. I know my close friends and family like my cookies, but I just "knew" they would difficult to sell. First off - we're entering the baking streak rather late. So many are already sugared-out from the holiday rush. And so many of our friends were doing their own 'BIG GIVE' projects. I was prematurely disappointed looking down the road at what we would be able to give back. My thoughts circled the phrase "you wicked servant", but we opted not to bury the money. We were going to give this cookie box idea our best effort and leave the results up to God!

WOW! In less than 48 hours I have so many dozens of cookies to bake, it's CRAZY!!! But what's crazier is the fact we'll surely have more than doubled our offering! I can only imagine how the Lord will bless the various ministries all because we showed up to try!

Sandusky: A Call for Parental Awareness

I have been more than horrified as I read the unfolding of the Penn State Sandusky Sex Abuse Scandal in the media headlines for the past couple of weeks. I know personally how awful, shameful and deep the wounds of childhood sexual abuse are. What compounds those wounds are nearby trusted adults who know and do nothing to stop it. To feel trapped and isolated in the most terrifying nightmare imaginable...my heart hurts all over again to read about these children who suffered at the hands of this trusted and idolized coach.

Aside from the headache, heartache and stomach pains, what could parents take away from this media drama playing out in front of us? AWARENESS. If nothing else, I hope parents realize that none of us wants to think that a great coach or a special teacher would ever dream of hurting our children. That friendly neighbor or older teen who seems to be doing so much to help our children....they couldn't...they wouldn't....or could they? The truth is...no one can really know the complete heart of another individual...no matter how well you know them. And abusers are a much higher percentage of our population than any of us care to admit.

The bottom line for parents is that our job...the very innate purpose in the title "parent"... is protector. God has given us children to protect them. We can't shield them from every hurt or sinful person in this world, but we can be reasonable and cautious parents who equip our children to live mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy lives. We can lay down the denial of "it won't happen to our family" and take up guard over our children. I learned a great deal from a mom-to-mom class about sexual predators. I instituted some guidelines for my own home based on what I learned:

1) We don't have "cute names" for body parts. Every body part goes by it's name - including sexual genitalia. I do my best to provide a home environment where all body parts are given the same respect in conversation. My son can tell me about his penis the same as he tells me about his knee. I do my best to let him know that there is no shame in what God has given him and although we have a reverence for sex, he needn't be shy about asking questions, making observations or otherwise understanding his own body in a healthy way.

2) Modesty and ownership of private parts was instilled at the earliest age possible. I stopped washing my son as soon as he could do it himself and I avoided touching him skin to skin in the bathing environment. So by 3 years old when he began to be aware of his own body, it was his to own, his to wash, and we talked openly about that. My goal was to help him be comfortable in his own skin and to know that modesty was okay. No one, no even me, had the right to demand to see or touch anything...his body was his body. Even healthy, playful physical interactions are limited to his direction. If I tickle his neck (he's very ticklish right around his collar bone), and he says stop, I immediately respect his wishes. Now that he's getting old enough to understand right and wrong, we are also having conversations about him being able to stand up for himself and say no, even to people in positions of authority or in situations when he's scared to say no.

3) Hygiene is open for discussion no matter how "embarrassing" something might be. Starting early, I hope, has given my son permission to talk about anything without being embarrassed by it. We talk about the fact that erections are normal and resolve themselves. We talk about the importance of washing our bodies and brushing our teeth. It's not over-emphasized, but stated from time to time so that my son knows he doesn't have to be embarrassed by things he doesn't understand and that he can ask questions and expect to be treated with respect in my giving him an answer.

4) Feelings - from an early age, we talked about feelings...sad, happy, excited, scared, embarrassed, etc. I think it's especially difficult for boys to identify emotions, so I wanted to make sure those words were in his vocabulary and that he knew he could be feel something without being told it wasn't appropriate. As a child and adolescent, I recall rather often being told how to feel about something. It is crucial for my son to be able to say he's scared without being made to feel guilty that somehow he shouldn't be scared of whatever it is. If he's scared, we talk about what he's thinking...why is he scared? I don't scoff or laugh or otherwise indicate whether he should or shouldn't be feeling that way. I don't want an abuser being able to manipulate fear because my son has been conditioned to think that he can't be scared when deep inside he really is afraid.

5) I ask questions. From time to time, I ask my son pointed, direct questions about whether or not he feels scared about someone in school or at church. I've had him answer yes a time or two. Thankfully it revolved around a student who decided it would be funny to turn the lights off in the bathroom and not something more sinister, but the point is - my son was okay to tell me that. I ask him if anyone has ever touched his private parts or asked him to touch theirs. Once I got a confession that someone flashed him their buttocks in the bathroom. It was boys horsing around in the bathroom, but again, my son knew it was okay to tell me that and we talked about how he responded, how he felt and if he could/should do anything different if something like that happened again. It was a good conversation about equipping him to deal with uncomfortable or unusual situations.

6) No sleep-overs. I've caught a lot of flack for this one. Most parents think this is going too far, but I honestly don't care what they think. I know that I can't - CAN'T - know any other person through and through to the point that I can guarantee they couldn't / wouldn't abuse my child. There are a few select people that babysit my son, but he won't be heading to a friend's house to stay the night. How many parents are regretting the fact that they let their children sleep over in the basement of Jerry Sandusky through the years? Did they ever think in a million years their child would be hurt? I'm sure they didn't. But now, looks like they were wrong. That isn't a risk I'm willing to take with the welfare and safety of my child. The benefits of sleep-overs in the social circles in no way outweighs the potential risk and harm that one mistake could have on my child. One person misjudged as a good and safe person and my child is scarred for life - for LIFE! No sleep-over experience is worth it. I think it's a fair limitation to potential abuse opportunities to avoid those over-night situations.

I can't protect my child from everything. But I have taken a philosophy of building as much trust as humanly possible between my child and me, equipping him to the best of my ability to face uncomfortable situations with confidence, and taking reasonable precautions about his whereabouts and what he does with whom. I think that is all any parent can do. I'd rather be painted as unreasonable for no sleep-overs and crazy for my caution than have to live with the pain of watching my child suffer the aftermath of sexual abuse that could have been prevented by my awareness or stopped sooner had my child been able to trust me enough with the information.

So rather than just decry the world an evil place and yet pretend that our kids won't be victims, I think it's the job of every parent to do what they can. Be cautious about your children's friends and do your best to investigate the relationships between him/her and the adults around them. Build the trust in your own relationship so that every child knows they can talk about uncomfortable and scary things with you - be the safe place your child can land. Instill modesty and reverence for their bodies and other's bodies and a confidence to say "no" even to authority figures when something "isn't right". I'm not advocating we all lock our kids up in bubbles, but let's not put our own heads in the sand either. Be proactive parents who take the job of protection seriously.

I have read most of this online book and although I season it's advice with a Christian worldview, it seems to be sound advice for the average parent!

http://keepyourchildsafe.org/aspwpadmin/stattrack/downloads/sexualabusepreventionREV.pdf

Veteran's Day: A Personal Reflection

Every fourth of July and Veteran's day is a sobering reminder of my time as a US Marine. Most of the people I know met me long after I left the Marines, so some do not even know that I was there. For many years, I felt that I hadn't really even earned the right to say I had been there, that I was a US Marine. I didn't even finish my school tour in 29 Palms due to a medical discharge. The only thing I felt I could say I had accomplished while "serving" was crossing the parade deck of Parris Island. THAT I was proud of. But the stage of life I was in during my time as a Marine was tainted with so much personal turmoil that it has been very hard to separate the honor and privilege it was to serve my country (even in peace time) from the heartache that I knew in day-to-day life and relationships.

It was not until about mid-way through basic training that I realized what I was even doing there. Chanting "kill, kill, kill" to the beat of boots marching in formation brought to mind the stark reality that this was real...I was training for war. I was training to defend my countrymen, defend our freedom, to kill if necessary any enemy - foreign or domestic - in order to protect America and what she stands for: Freedom. I was part of the continuation of generations of soldiers who would lay down their lives for this country. I remember the pride of learning all I could in how to be the best Marine I could be. The history, the physical discipline, weapon's training, tactics, equipment....As a woman, I knew that being a Marine would mean going above and beyond to prove myself in what had always been a man's world. Each week, each task learned, each accomplishment that brought me closer to the day I would graduate a member of the United States Marine Corps was exciting and heady in a way that only those who have gone there themselves would understand.

The first clash of my professional and personal lives came on the rifle range. A letter from my sister brought devasting news from home - news that required several women to hold me back from walking off the island and using my training to defend against a domestic enemy. It wasn't the only letter I received in my years as a Marine. It wasn't the only bad news. It wasn't the only heartbreak. And even though my time as a Marine was overshadowed so often by personal tragedy, I still carry with me the memories, the pride of a sharply pressed uniform, a ready weapon, and a head held high. I still have the heart of protection that aches for those who can't defend themselves against the enemy - be that enemy foreign or domestic. I might have traded in my M-16 for God's word, but I didn't trade in my discipline to make sure I maintain that "expert" level when using my weapon against those enemies wherever the front line be drawn.

I am a soldier. Training in the Marines prepared me to be part of God's Corps, even if it seemed to be spent discovering every flaw, every weakness and every failure within me. Just like in bootcamp, I had to learn to die to myself and live and train for someone else...for the good of the group. It taught me that doing that is hard work and takes a great deal of sacrifice. But it's worth it. The blood, sweat and tears are worth it. So while I can't say my time served looked anything like most veterans, I can say that I was there to fight for my country and to serve. In the end, God used my many failures to make me a better soldier...a better weapon in HIS hands instead of the hands of the US government. Learning that over the past couple of years, I can now hold my head high on days like Veteran's Day. Because I am still a soldier. My weapon is still ready, my training still ongoing, my delusion of peace time gone and a picture of the war at hand....I am His soldier.

So I do stand up, head held high in the confidence of who He made me to be and I give rightly due respect, my prayers and my support to every Veteran who is and has gone before me. For the lives who been lost to the ravages of war...for the men and women who have sacrificed to defend against all enemies - foreign or domestic....I salute you. May the courage of this generation and the generations to come not waiver. May we draw strength from the the Lord and from those who have gone before us. It is more than a cliche slogan or a nice bumper sticker to me, when I say this, I mean it with all my heart - God please bless America and it's people.

Semper Fidelis,
Shannon Wright

Life Today

Well, it's November! Cooler weather is settling in and I'm about 15 weeks along in this pregnancy. I have another appointment with my midwife tomorrow. I like the fact that this pregnancy has been so uneventful. My worst symptom was being horribly tired the first trimester. Even that has lessened almost back to normal and I have a pretty easy pregnancy on my hands!

This little baby hasn't even arrived on the scene and we have so many changes happening in our family. Shea and I have been very concerned about how the finances are going to work with a baby being added. In our current budget, there is no way to pay for daycare and no way for either of us not to work. It spelled a pretty bleak outlook until we made some significant changes. The first of which was selling our second vehicle. Shea graciously rode the bus for a while until a friend of ours offered to lend us their second car that wasn't being used. During the bus era, Jonathan suffered the most I think. It sucked the life out of what little family time we had with two working parents. Now that we're back to a better schedule, that stress is lessening and we're seeing improvement.

However, as I find us struggling to create a family friendly routine to follow each day - complete with quality/quantity time, chore completion, homework and all the rest - I realize how difficult it is to develop these good habits in a short period of time. Consistency has not historically been "my thing", but it's slowly getting better. This attempt at a routine is really pushing me in respect to consistency though. We sat down about a week ago and completed a family chore chart! My husband has been amazing in getting his done, and quite frankly he has the tightest schedule! I feel guilty and ashamed when I see how few of my own chores are being done according to this new schedule. But we keep pushing. Today is a new day and prayerfully by bedtime, I'll see my list's end!

Being that it's November, and such a wonderful time to think on all the many things we have to be thankful for, I can't help but realize how "easy" life is right now. We have some minor challenges that are continuing to mold our character in the likeness of our Savior, but overall, it's "peacetime" to a certain degree. Which, quite honestly makes me a little nervous. Peacetime in the spiritual sense rarely lasts long and usually heads us right into the next big challenge of life. So, it's a daily choice to keep my eyes on the here and now. To enjoy the Lord's embrace and lack of deep cutting on my soul for the moment! When the tomorrow comes that He resumes more arduous work on my "much in need of sanctification" heart...we'll..."cross that bridge when we come to it".

For now, I'm just working to adjust to the little challenges, praying for Grace to keep praying and studying His word as I should, invest in my family in the most meaningful way, and keep my eyes open for those opportunities to serve those around me. What a blessed life it is today!

Telling Jonathan About the Baby

I had to make this a separate little note because Jonathan is just so precious. Shortly after Shea and I got married, Jonathan began asking for a little brother. Sometimes, he asked for two. As time went on, his pleas were even more desperate..."When can I have a little brother OR a sister?" Bless his heart, he just didn't want to be an only child anymore. He wanted a sibling! Our answer to him was always to pray. God is the giver of such blessings and we had limited (much more than originally thought) control over the when and how of our family being expanded.

So Jonathan did pray. He prayed all the time. For weeks and months, it seemed almost daily, he asked "Do we have a baby yet?" During an altar call at church, Jonathan went forward, but not to pray for salvation. He told Pastor Chris he wanted to pray for babies. Needless to say, I had some explaining to do on that one.

But Jonathan kept praying and kept asking. Years have gone by and we had continued to tell him to pray with our answer always being "not yet". So when my pregnancy test came back, unexpectedly, "pregnant", I had to smile at God's tender answer to a little boy's heart felt prayer over the past several years.

I waited until that Friday evening to share the news with my husband and then we sat Jonathan down to tell him the news. Reminding Jonathan of his many prayers, we told him "We're having a baby!" Jumping to his feet with a squeal he shouted, "FINALLY! It has taken FOREVER!" What an amazing thing to see. Even though Jonathan is not saved yet, I see how God is tenderly wooing his strong-willed, independent heart. It fuels my own heart to continue praying and more fervently pray, for his salvation. Wish I would have video-taped the breaking of the news to Jonathan, but hopefully this little online footprint will serve to remind us what a precious moment this was for prayer to be answered!

Life!

I think it humorous now that I had such a concrete, logical plan for our family expansion that surely this was what God wanted. Next year, Shea and I would begin the process of adopting a child through the foster care system. We would get a little boy about 5-7 years old. It would keep me working for a little while longer while we completed the process of getting out of debt. It would also give Jonathan the little brother he has been praying for ever since Shea and I got married. And all the pieces would just fit together so well.

HA!

I think God must get a huge laugh when I get my mind fixed on some plan I have. "Many are the plans in a mans heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 Our family was such a plan. My husband and I had many plans in our hearts. I so desperately wanted to stay at home and be just a wife and mother. My husband has career and financial goals. We both are so eager to get to the other side of our debt mountain and see it cleared once and for all. We thought having six children sounded delightfully challenging and wonderful all at the same time. We are truly big dreamers, he and I! Perhaps that is one reason we go so well together. Yet, the truth of scripture prevails. Regardless of our plans, God had His own purpose and plan in place and once again...it didn't match ours!

Friday, September 2nd, I finally couldn't wait any longer for the inevitable monthly cycle to start. I was several days late at this point...something was going on. At 12:30am I woke up and couldn't help myself...it was morning, let's take a pregnancy test! I watched rather nervously as the hourglass on the digital display went round and round, letting me know the test was working. Within what seemed like - I don't know ETERNITY - the reading popped up "PREGNANT". I was expecting to be scared and anxious and I don't know what. Instead, I felt like a giggly school-girl. A huge smile came across my face and I was happy! I was more than happy! I was ecstatic! Which, honestly, didn't make a lick of sense. How in the world were we going to afford a baby? We had at least 18 more months worth of debt to settle!

So thus begins our journey of ditching the plans and seeing what God has in store for us instead. Our heart convictions remain. I belong at home with our children, taking care of our home. My husband is and will continue to be an amazing provider. As far as the debt, God help us, enough of the mountain will be scaled and conquered by the time this baby comes, that we will continue to pay our bills without issue. At this point, we are just taking a day at a time and praying that God would lead us through this new and exciting chapter of our lives!

Waiting on You Lord.

It feels like a lifetime has passed since I was last able to sit down and write my heart. Rather than write some lesson learned, I wanted to put down my aching prayer. It is a lesson I certainly NEED to learn, prayerfully AM learning, but no, admittedly NOT YET learned.

Lord, I need you to rescue me. Someone on the radio sings those words and the song plays over in my head. I really and truly need you to rescue me. Whenever my faith gets super, duper weak, my thinking is all muddled and my fleshly heart starts to run the show - tossing me this way and that with every whim of emotion. I am in such rebellion Lord. So many un-repented of sins. My heart is so hard and I can feel it. I know it. Stubbornness that almost dares you to discipline me. Beneath it, I'm waiting for you to stop loving me, I guess. Like I somehow earned your love before now with my "good behavior". HA! Intellectually, I know that to be a big fat falsehood...but deep down...where no one sees but you...there is a part of me still unconvinced you really love me...just because.

Why does it keep coming back to that? I know it isn't true...but somehow this is where we end up. Me in utter disobedience, daring you to walk away like everyone else in my life. Trying to show you what a waste of goodness you would spend on me. Then there is my propensity to wallow in analytical stagnation over every problem that comes my way. It seems I never get past the analysis to a solution for whatever the ailment. Fear, laziness...? I am unsure of exactly what plagues me each time, but whatever the issue...I run in unproductive circles.

So here I am Lord. YOUR beautiful mess. Give me eyes to see how you see. A heart that thinks and wants what you think and want. Make me over, make me new...another song running in my head. Whatever you do Lord, please, once again, I beg you not to give up on me...to help me become all that you've dreamed for your little girl. Grow me up into the likeness of your Son and please...please don't leave me to my own devices...we've both seen how tragic those can be.

I love you Lord. My Alpha, Omega, beginning and end...I sure could use a word so you can be my "middle" too! ;) My Savior and Friend...my Provider and Counselor. And my sweet Heavenly Father.

Thank you for claiming me...please help me stop running away.

Rescue Me

I have had my faith shaken a time or two and in some serious ways...ways in which it could have been the end of being a Christian. Yet, somehow, the Lord managed to lead me away from the edge of the cliff before the plunge and my faith was stronger than ever.

I feel like I am on that edge again.

Peering down, I see the hopelessness of circumstances beyond my control to change. I see no path to the places for which God has put such strong desires in my heart. It feels like I'm stuck and to boot, I'm wallowing in sin. Somehow my desire to not sin seems to wane with every passing day. Every failure compounds the guilt and makes it heavier. Every day that passes without so much as one seemingly small success in the areas I continue to struggle just keeps reinforcing this notion that "there just isn't any point to this". Sure, I tell myself all the pretty bible verses that used to give me hope and inspiration, but what was once life-giving seems to heap hot coals of condemnation on my already heavy-laden head. What once held such optimism for a "new day" now wakes me up with a deep, gnawing sense of pessimism.

What does one do at this point? Do I jump off the edge, leaving behind all that has held me safe and secure? Do I give up all that has brought peace and sense to life? When faith stops working, should that faith be discarded - even with no alternative in sight?

The answer is a resounding NO.

I may not know where I'm going anymore or how I'll get there. I may not see hope in the midst of these circumstances. I may feel lost and abandoned by the One who promised He would never leave nor forsake me. It may even be that I no longer see a resemblance between me and what I thought a Christian should at least sort of look like. But the very definition of faith rests not in what I feel, what I know, or what I can see. It rests in Him. It is choosing to live as though the bible were true, regardless of circumstances, emotions or cultural trends. Even if all I have left is barely the will to choose it.

I don't know how to get myself off the cliff. So rather than try to rescue myself from yet another awful blunder, I will simply wait to be rescued. I don't know how to "seek Him" right now. I don't know how to "give my heart" over to Him right now. I don't even think I know where to start when it comes to repenting right now. The pit is just too deep.

So Lord, although the list seems endless for the ways in which I have rebelled and tried to do life on my own in my own way, I've realized - YET AGAIN - that that doesn't work and I have fallen pretty badly. All I have done is sin against you day in and day out. I got prideful in my moments of "spirituality" and took credit for righteousness not my own, only to end up here. In a place of despair with a horrible record player of condemnation playing in my head every minute of every day. My thoughts are so awful and somehow my faith has been shaken to the very core. I've lost sight of you Beloved. I don't know how to find my way back to you. Please rescue me. Please come find me on my cliff of insanity and walk me down. Walk me back to the place where order still exists, where hope abounds and love heals. The place where I belong - with You. I'm waiting Lord. I'm waiting right here for you to rescue me.

People Over Stuff

Philippians 2:4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others."

So it's 4am and I can't sleep. I woke up with a stiff neck and for some odd reason began to think and pray about some things God has recently put on my heart. I am a stiff-necked person! And it's not just a literal thing, it's also a spiritual thing. God called his children 'stiff-necked' on more than a few occasions because they kept falling into disobedience. As His child, oh how I am prone to disobedience!

Recently, it's been about people. I have been taking stock in all of my relationships. My husband and son mean the world to me. Yet, ashamedly, I find myself putting more energy into stuff than these people whom I say I love. I worry over the endless household chores to be done. I complain about my endless "to do" list. After my "to do list", I focus on entertaining myself with online games, books, movies and whatever seems to be my mode of "relaxation" for that day. I consider myself, my needs, my wants, my....my....my....you get the picture. Unadulterated selfishness!

So...what is there to do about selfishness? Two words - Kill it. Crucifying the flesh is a common new-testament encouragement by the apostle Paul. When dealing with sin, there is no other answer than to crucify it - put it on the cross with Jesus Christ and die to self. Oh...easy in concept...not so easy in real life.

In the last week, God has reminded me that my ministry is my husband, to whom I am to give respect and attention. Words that come so easily to my tongue must be tamed to only build him up and not tear him down - do I think before I speak? Saying "I love you" should not be just words though. My attitude should not convey annoyance or irritation, but joy and gratitude for all he brings to my life - prompting me to serve him with a happy heart instead of complaining. My ministry is my son. This precious child needs me to stop what I'm doing, leave the chores for another time, and NOT do the things I'd like to do, in order that I may show him what God is really like - available, unconditional in love and absolutely crazy about him. The TV, games, and other activities should be ways to bring us together - not serve as ways to "babysit" him while I "get things done". Another part of my ministry is the neighborhood children God has placed in our lives. Desperate for love and attention and truth, ministry means inviting them in when it's less than convenient for me. It means showing kindness and hospitality even if that equals ratcheting up the level of chaos that already exists in our house that day. It means cooking some extra food and not caring whether or not the house is in order when they stop by or when they leave. It also means skipping out on the pedicure I've been "dying to get for months and months" so that I don't miss out on the opportunity to feed and witness to the homeless man on the corner...how I desperately wish I had crucified my flesh on that note.

Jesus poured out his life for people, not stuff. He poured his energy into serving His father regardless of the cost. How heart-wrenching to see my life has been poured out more-so for stuff than for people. Missed opportunities will be cause for tears at the end of this life. Yet, while I have breath, there is time for now. There is time for learning and crucifying this wicked flesh. Today, I have life to spend here on this earth. Today, I can choose people over stuff and pour out what Jesus has given to me...His life.

Even at 4am, I am praying that today I will do just that. When my husband awakes, may my tongue greet him with joy. When my son awakes, may my actions speak God's love for Him. When I spend my moments today, may they be in service for each and every person who crosses my path. May each person see a glimpse of Jesus Christ today when they encounter me. May I set aside my schedule, my agenda, my "to do" list, so that intentionality for His work and His people becomes my focus.

Lord, please grant me your grace and crucify my flesh. May the pain and inconvenience of it all be pleasing to your heart and a blessing to your wonderfully and fearfully made people whom I am privileged to meet today.